Plea from Anna

31 May

As much as I think about Brianne, she is a faded, distant memory at the forefront of my mind now. Only small but significant memories exist that a friend will never forget.

Daydreams of who she would have become, what she would be doing, and how joyous her life could have been often flash through my consciousness.

And then comes the terror. Morbid thoughts of something terrible happening that fateful night that cannot be undone. Inconceivable theories involving human trafficking, abduction, confinement, cults, and/or murder. My greatest fear is that she is suffering and no one will ever be capable of bringing her justice. I sometimes clench in fear that we will never bring her home or find out what happened to her.

My optimistic side tries to tell me she left us of her own free will and is living another life somewhere. Somewhere that makes her feel fulfilled, where she’s totally unaware of the pain she is causing us. Unlikely, I realize, but it’s the only scenario I can think of with a relatively happy ending, even if it means years of torture for the rest of us.

Every possibility has crossed my mind this many years in to her disappearance.

Then, there’s you. Whoever you are. I wonder about you the most. I wonder if you are reveling in the fact that we are at your mercy. If you could really be as awful and heartless as you seem. To be honest, I have serious doubts that you are a complete sociopath with no feelings of regret.

Since I am fairly certain more than one person knows the secret of Brianne’s fate, the statistics just don’t add up. There must be at least one of you in that group of people who has been living with immense feelings of guilt because you are keeping a secret no normal person is capable of holding on to forever. That is, if you even have a desire for your mind to live freely once again. I wonder if you realize that kind of existence is comparable to a life in prison. Any sociopaths involved have a much greater “quality of life” than you do at this point.

I wonder if you have a child. What empathy do you feel for Brianne’s mother and father? Can you put yourself in their shoes and imagine living a real-life nightmare that has lasted almost twelve years? Do you stay awake at night in fear for your child’s safety? Not having any idea what has happened to them? What someone may be doing to them? Have you ever genuinely loved someone at maximum capacity? Would you gladly give your life in exchange for the life of your child?

You must not have any idea what I am talking about. You couldn’t know. No one that has experienced any of those feelings would keep such a secret from another parent. Empathy must not come easy to all of us.

This is just a mind’s eye view as a result of my own relationship as a mother; what I see as the most intense and important relationship of my life. I’m also a daughter, sister, auntie, lover, and friend, and could give those perspectives as well.

We are all victims. Victims of an unnamed crime. We can still be rescued – you must help us now.

I am literally begging for mercy. No matter your role in this, I will personally assist and support the first person who provides us with the information we so desperately seek.

Anna

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